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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081956">stay, oh – baby touch me (please? I really need a hug)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithStarlight/pseuds/LilithStarlight'>LilithStarlight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chan's foolproof step-by-step guide to self care and coping [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bang Chan-centric, Comfort, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Everyone Loves Bang Chan, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugging, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Sad Bang Chan, Touch-Starved, also dw the angst is barely there, am i projecting how much i love hugs and how much i love chan? yes, and the goods:, anyone who wants to get on the loving chan train with me: all aboard!, but it gets better :D, but only for a minute Also, cw mild descriptions of eating and food, hi i'm back on my loving chan bullshit, hummm, i'm maybe also projecting that i would like to give chan a hug, i'm trying lol hope it works, insecure thoughts but only for like a minute, minchan is there because i'm Me and i love minchan, oh yes and the compulsory, rated t because jisung has a pottymouth, so tags!, touch starvation, uwu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:55:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081956</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithStarlight/pseuds/LilithStarlight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Channie doesn’t realize how long he’s spent without human contact until his skin starts to feel tingly and he misses a particular kind of warmth that he can’t place his finger on.</p><p> </p><p>See also; Chan is touch starved. It takes a couple days of hug rejection after nearly three weeks without any contact to realize it, but when he does he decides to be Proactive and Get Those Cuddles.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Everyone, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chan's foolproof step-by-step guide to self care and coping [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>329</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stay, oh – baby touch me (please? I really need a hug)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>welcome to: #hugsforbangchan2020 because i said so and because i want him to get all the hugs</p><p>a lot of this perhaps is based on the fact that i am constantly in need of hugs and get all tingly and nervous if i don't get enough, and Also the fact that chan loves hugs so much. he deserves all the cuddles and also the whole world!</p><p>title from nct127 touch! does this make this the third work i have on my computer that uses lyrics from touch as the title? yes. yes it does</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chan doesn’t think much of the odd tingly feeling that’s descended on his skin once he finally saves all his progress and shuts his laptop – this is only after he remembers that Yes, he <em>is</em> a person who has basic needs like drinking water and sleeping, and he hasn’t done either of those in a while.</p><p>He always feels a little weird when he’s dehydrated and sleep deprived, it makes sense. It’s probably not good for him, but it makes sense.</p><p>He stumbles blearily out of the studio, laptop packed safely in his bag and rubbing his eyes as he walks. Down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door. He breathes in fresh air for the first time since the sunrise, stretching and wincing when he hears several joints cracking. His arms flop to his sides when he’s done, waiting for his muscle memory to tell him what to do.  </p><p><em>Going home… bus…. yes, </em>is all that crosses his mind in that moment, and he makes a (sleepy) beeline to the bus stop close to their building. After a few minutes of standing he remembers that he has a water bottle in his bag and he chugs it while he waits for the bus. It’s getting dark out now, but he can still see the sun. Probably close to 8PM then.</p><p>He has to be home earlier than normal since they’re still promoting. Normally, he would have left hours ago; the company doesn’t <em>really</em> want them working so hard they crumble (it’s bad for public image) and they insist that they come back home before 5 so they can have dinner and proper rest. However, they’ve been given a quick turnaround deadline for their next comeback even though this one hasn’t even finished. As the member most experienced in the forbidden art of getting no sleep, he had decided to take this one for the team.</p><p>Speaking of the team.</p><p>Chan isn’t sure why, but he really misses his boys. Which is odd, because he gets to see them every single day as they practice and rehearse and perform together.</p><p>Sure, they weren’t able to visit him in his studio like they normally could because all of their free time was taken up by practicing or working on their own new music and choreography. And yeah, they weren’t able to really have full conversations and cuddle like they usually do before bed because they were all wiped out by the time night came. Maybe he hasn’t properly interacted with or received affection from his members as often as he used to, that doesn’t mean anything.</p><p>Nope, he hasn’t had any hugs or soft moments for nearly three weeks straight. Means nothing.</p><p>Hmm.</p><p>No, wait, that probably means something.</p><p>Chan pouts as the bus rolls up.</p><p>Maybe he has a reason to miss them. And maybe he <em>does</em> miss them.</p><p><em>Oh well</em>, he thinks as he steps onto the bus, <em>only a few more days and things will wind down</em>.</p><p>Then he can snuggle everybody whenever he wants. (And when they want to, of course.) He settles into his seat,</p><p>And hey, he finished all the new songs. Now that he’s recognized that he wants hugs, and he has some extra time to talk to his boys as they practice, he can do his best to ask for them until they take a break.</p><p>It’ll be fine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he gets home, he eats a late dinner before going to bed, passing out like the rest of the members already have and getting a surprising amount of sleep. He’s actually pretty proud of himself.</p><p>In the morning, he’s the first to wake up and so decides to put some effort into his breakfast and boil enough water to make tea for everyone.</p><p>One by one, the members stumble out of their rooms and into the kitchen to find food. All of them stop in mild surprise that Chan’s awake and in the kitchen, then mumble a quiet thanks when he hands them a cup of tea. He smiles at them in reply, feeling lighter already.</p><p>Nobody offers a hug or anything, but that’s fine; he didn’t ask for one.</p><p>Still, it does put an odd stinging sensation in his chest when he walks into the common area to see the millennium line cuddled in a big pile on the couch. Hyunjin included, who, while a cuddle bug, tends to want to be the big spoon rather than be squashed in the middle like he currently is.</p><p>In that moment, Chan wants nothing more than for them to magically realize how he’s feeling and give him a hug. He thinks about asking, too, and normally he probably would, but he decides against it when he sees how comfortable they look. So, no hugs yet.</p><p>But it’s fine. One hundred percent. Completely, totally fine.</p><p>(<em>No it’s not</em>, a voice whispers in his head. He scrunches up his nose at the voice and imagines hitting it with a tennis racket until it dissipates.)</p><p>And he has time to ask them later! Maybe he’ll ask them after dance practice, which is… oh shoot, they need to <em>go, </em>practice starts in forty five minutes. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed.</p><p>“Okay kids, let’s go, early day,” he calls out to the dorm at large as he returns to the kitchen to shove protein snacks and fruits into bags to bring with them. He hears grumbles in response to his announcement, but it’s followed shortly after by the sound of shuffling feet and bags zipping. Chan smiles to himself as he finishes packing in time to usher everybody out the door.</p><p>When they reach the studios, they end up splitting into smaller groups to practice for a couple of hours in different rooms before they’re slated to clean up and head to the venue to rehearse all together and perform later tonight. He distributes the snacks and sends the kids on their way.</p><p>Which leads to now, with Chan crouching to catch his breath in front of the mirrors with Jisung and Changbin hunched over and clutching their knees a few feet behind. They know not to exert themselves too hard, especially since they need to be performance ready, but with everyone extra tired it’s easy to work up a sweat after only a few monitored run-throughs.</p><p>Chan looks up after a few moments and grins.</p><p>“Good job, you two! Looks great, as usual, and you were both really quick to fix any adjustments,” he praises them as he stands back up and goes to get his water. When he turns back around Changbin’s face is more red than it had been from dancing, and Jisung is pouting at him.</p><p>“You did great too, Channie! Don’t forget that!” he insists. Chan is almost tempted to brush it off before he concedes with a chuckle.</p><p>“Thanks, Ji.” He walks back to hand them their water bottles, stopping to tilt his head at Jisung.</p><p>Jisung tilts his head in the same direction, probably to ask a question when Chan beats him too it by raising his arms.</p><p>“Hug?” he asks, hoping by adding a little lilt to it will help. Usually he doesn’t need to act cute, Jisung is pretty cuddly.</p><p>However, Jisung decides to defy expectations and wrinkles his nose.</p><p>“Fuck no, you’re all gross and sweaty,” he teases, sticking out his tongue for good measure.</p><p>Chan pouts, dropping his arms.</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> gross and sweaty too,” he points out. Jisung simply shakes his head, flicking back imaginary hair.</p><p>“Perhaps, but I refuse all contact with you sweaty heathens aside from formal handshakes until we all clean up,” he says in a funny voice as he walks toward his bag to pack up. Changbin rolls his eyes and Chan shakes his head fondly. Although he does want a hug, Jisung has a point; post-dance and workout hugs aren’t exactly comfortable.</p><p>So he sighs instead, letting his gaze settle on Changbin. He quirks his eyebrows before asking, “I don’t suppose you’d be up for one?”</p><p>Changbin is quick to jump away from him.</p><p>“You supposed correctly, stay back fiend!” he exclaims while making shooing motions. The rejection maybe stings for half a millisecond before Chan grins again. Hugs can wait – he has a little brother to mess with.</p><p>He holds his arms out again, this time exaggerated.</p><p>“But Chaaangbiiiin,” he whines with a fake pout. Then he takes off running after him.</p><p>Changbin yelps before laughing and giving in to being chased around the studio for a few minutes before they’re finally too tired to continue and flop to the ground.</p><p>They lie on the floor and catch their breath again for a few moments, giggling intermittently as they do.</p><p>Eventually, it’s officially time to go wash all their sweat off just to go perform and get sweaty again. Such is the life of a performer.</p><p>They gather their bags, shutting down the computers and turning off the lights. As they walk down the hall, Chan quietly asks both of them, “Can I have a hug later?”</p><p>Jisung laughs at that.</p><p>“Is it national hug day and I missed the memo?” Chan blinks, then chuckles, shaking his head.</p><p>“No, just… felt like hugs today, y’know?”</p><p>Changbin nods agreeably.</p><p>“That I do know.”</p><p>Jisung shrugs.</p><p>“I can respect that. I’ve been there.”</p><p>Changbin turns to Chan when they reach the main entrance.</p><p>“Tell you what, how about when we’re done with everything and we take our second or third shower of the day, then we can cuddle.”</p><p>Chan brightens at the prospect. Like, he literally perks up and feels like a mini sun has started shining in his mind.</p><p>“That sounds amazing, thanks Binnie.”</p><p>It makes Changbin chuckle.</p><p>“You’re so cute, Channie. And yeah, anytime,” he says easily as they wait outside for their ride to come.</p><p>Now it’s Chan’s turn to flush at an unexpected compliment, ears going red immediately. It only fuels the fire and causes the duo to smirk, then proceed to praise him until he wants to melt into a puddle of goo. Luckily, the van shows up to pick them up before he completely melts.</p><p>As he leaps into the van to escape, the promise is back on his mind. He feels happy and excited, enough to curb some of the usual pre-performance nerves he would feel by now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Returning home from a performance is always nice; coming down from adrenaline highs and feeling exhausted but satisfied.</p><p>As usual, Chan waits for everyone else to shower and get ready for bed before him. When he’s finally cleaned up and in his sleep clothes, he rubs his eyes as he wanders around the dorm checking every room for members still awake and turning the lights off when he finds them empty.</p><p>Absently, he checks his phone on his way back to his room, stopping when he sees a message from Changbin.</p><p>
  <em>i’m falling asleep as we speak and i won’t be awake when you come back to the room. sorry channie T-T cuddles another time?</em>
</p><p>Chan sighs, feeling his heart sink, though he knows it’s nobody’s fault – just unfortunate timing.</p><p>Not much he can do about it. He sends a ‘<em>sure’ </em>and a few heart stickers to Changbin in response before making it to his bed and plugging his phone in for the night.</p><p>As he lies by himself, there’s a weird chilling feeling in his bones that won’t go away no matter how tightly he wraps his blanket around himself, staying even as he drifts off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan is cautiously optimistic about snuggling when he wakes up. It lasts for about twenty minutes before he realizes he’s spending the morning working with Jeongin.</p><p>Not that Jeongin would outright reject him it’s just… he doesn’t really feel the need to hug people as often as the others and is more likely to sidestep an incoming cuddle than embrace it.</p><p>Chan’s sure that if he explains that he just really, <em>really</em> feels like he needs a hug Jeongin would understand. But he doesn’t want to bother him with something that he could probably figure out by himself. And again, he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable.</p><p>So, he straps in for several hours of no cuddles.</p><p>Until he can’t handle it and wonders if teasing Jeongin would be a roundabout way to get any sort of contact. It’s a bad plan, he thinks as he side eyes the way Jeongin is quietly working on some lyrics he’d wanted some guidance with. But he’s going to do it anyway.</p><p>He starts by leaning in slowly, so slowly, into Jeongin’s personal space.</p><p>Jeongin doesn’t notice, just keeps writing and scratching out and rewriting.</p><p>Chan moves in again. Carefully, so carefully, he tilts his head and secures his chin right over Jeongin’s shoulder.</p><p>The reaction is immediate.</p><p>“Aw, what? Chan, get off!” Jeongin complains as he laughs, and shoves Chan off of him. Kind of hard, actually, but Chan doesn’t even notice. He’s laughing too, albeit a little distantly. The spot where his chin had rested on Jeongin and the spots on his shoulder where Jeongin’s hands had been to push him feel warm. Odd.</p><p>Well. It’s not exactly a hug, but it was <em>something</em>.</p><p>So, he tries it again. A couple of times. Each time wondering a little bit more what could be wrong with him if the light taps and pushes he’s getting make him feel warm and welcome.</p><p>Eventually Jeongin breaks down into a fit of giggles before he sighs with a smile.</p><p>“Okay, enough bothering me, Channie. I have to get back to work,” he says, his eyes crinkling up as he grins.</p><p><em>Bother</em>.</p><p>Ouch. That hurts Chan a little more than he thought it would. Jeongin means well, but… Now he’s overthinking things again, accidentally worrying about what the others might think about his need for hugs. He’ll make extra sure that he’s being careful and not bothering the others the next time he asks for one.</p><p>That settled, he returns Jeongin’s grin, and based on the way Jeongin hums and goes back to his lyrics, he doesn’t notice how forced it was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Several hours later has Chan at dance with Felix and Minho. Despite his mild yet ever growing despair, he once again finds himself hopeful that at least part of today will involve a hug or two; Minho is his boyfriend and enjoys hugging (and kissing) Chan, and Felix is a literal actual cuddle monster. It’s bound to happen eventually.</p><p>Except, it never does.</p><p>Felix is more kind about it than Jisung was (which is a given, this is Felix he’s talking about) as he regretfully tells Chan that he’s sweaty and tired and that probably neither of them would enjoy a hug right now. Chan privately disagrees, but nods with a smile anyway.</p><p>Minho, in true Minho Fashion, declares that he isn’t feeling up to a hug either but would “consider smooches as a good alternative”. It’s a direct quote, and Felix is a witness to it.</p><p>As he steps closer, Chan feels his skin tingle, almost vibrate, with the anticipation of any affectionate contact at all. Minho smiles at him, first a smirk then something more gentle. They’re close enough that Minho puts his hands on either side of Chan’s face, and that alone sparks warmth across his cheeks.</p><p>Then he leans in and smiles into a soft kiss, ignoring Felix screeching, “AHH, MY EYES!” in favor of admiring the way Minho is looking at him so lovingly.</p><p>Unfortunately, it only lasts for a few seconds. Far too soon, Seungmin is kicking the door open and walking in. As soon as it closes he calls out, “Choreographer on the way, bring all PDA to a stop.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Chan breaks away from Minho. Minho’s lips twitch up into a sympathetic smile. They separate by a few feet and are stretching nonchalantly by the time the choreographer and the rest of Stray Kids are wandering into the room.</p><p>“Alright, kiddos,” the choreographer starts as the members set down their bags at the edges of the room. “I’m here today to watch the dances to check for your conditions for the last two performances, as well as an informal evaluations of the choreos you’ve started for the next round of songs. Sound good?” A loud chorus of “Yes, teacher” floods the room. The choreographer shakes her head fondly at the high-volume response before setting all of them to start stretching.</p><p>Chan happens to catch Minho and Felix’s eyes at different times during their warmup, both holding warmth in their gazes when he sees them. Although it’s not a physical hug, he does feel somewhat comforted; like the chilly emptiness that hadn’t actually gone away from last night is warmed over just a little. </p><p>He’ll just try again after today’s performance, maybe he’ll be more successful than the last one.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He isn’t.</p><p>The same situation of tired members and no time means Chan goes to bed cold for some reason he can’t explain.</p><p>He’s hoping, wishing honestly, that he’ll figure it out soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Today is the last performance before they have a few days of break, then the turnaround happens and it’s back to preparations. Chan is beginning to think that he’ll have to wait until the break to make any progress with that hug. Actually, he’s beginning to lose hope that it’ll happen at all, which is… weirdly pessimistic for him.</p><p>Practice is short today, and though they’re all together in the same room they’re separated into smaller groups again.</p><p>Chan is currently waiting his turn, sitting on the floor between Hyunjin and Seungmin. They’re both looking at the same something on their phones, probably that racing game Hyunjin likes so much.</p><p>Chan is left to his own thoughts, wondering if he came on too strong with his need for hugs. Maybe he <em>was </em>bothering them. He should start smaller than a full on snuggling session.</p><p>He’s pulled from his thoughts when Seungmin loses the round of whatever he’s playing. He sighs and pockets his phone, mumbling about bad controls as he does. Chan sees his opportunity.</p><p>Scooting just a hair closer to Seungmin, he offers a hand, palm up and hovering near Seungmin’s elbow.</p><p>“Hand?” is all he says, hoping that Seungmin will take it. However, all he gets is an odd half smile.</p><p>“Not right now, Channie. Not really feeling it.” That’s fine, it’s totally fine. Not everyone is in the mood for contact at all times. Chan understands.</p><p>“That’s okay,” he says, withdrawing his hand and using it to fiddle with his ear instead. He smiles in response. “I can respect that.” And he does. He’s not even upset at Seungmin, just irked at the universe for making it suddenly incredibly hard to get physical affection.</p><p>He turns to Hyunjin instead. <em>The only member I haven’t asked yet</em>, he realizes in the back of his mind.</p><p>“Hey, Hyunnie,” he says. Hyunjin gives him a quick glance and a smile before going back to his game. So, Chan gives him a few seconds before trying again.</p><p>“When you’re done, would you mind if I leaned on you a bit? Just for a few minutes while we wait,” he makes sure to add, hoping to downplay it and make himself sound less bothersome.</p><p>Hyunjin doesn’t respond for a few moments as he finishes the race he was playing. Even that short wait gives Chan too much time to think about if he said what he wanted to say correctly. Then, when Hyunjin wins, he too pockets his phone and smiles at Chan.</p><p>“So, cuddling?” Hyunjin asks with a fond gleam in his eyes. Chan is so close to his goal that he doesn’t even care about being subtle.</p><p>“Yes, please,” he says, aware that he’s pouting and that his eyes have gone wide. Gods, he probably sounds desperate, but as Hyunjin smiles even wider and pats the floor next to him, he doesn’t really care. He all but scrambles to sit next to him and he leans onto his shoulder. Finally, after so long, he-</p><p>“Chan, Hyunjin, Seungmin, your turn to practice together.”</p><p>Chan doesn’t have it in him to be upset with their choreographer, especially over something that isn’t dance related. So, he just internally grumbles and sits up.</p><p>There’s really not much that can be done anyway, especially with the apologetic smile Hyunjin gives him. So, he continues to push it aside.</p><p>He goes about the rest of the day feeling weirdly empty. After practice ends, everyone’s so tired that they end up leaning against every other member by the time they get in the van to clean up in time for their final stage. </p><p>Their performance goes really well, despite the clear exhaustion hanging around all of them. Chan’s proud of them, and he says so, giving them all a tired but satisfied smile. A moment later is the closest he’s felt to normal in a while as they share a brief group hug, but even that doesn’t last long. They soon split up and give each other high fives and hair pats. Chan gets a few, of course, but the short, light touches feels like both the problem and the solution to all of his recent troubles.</p><p>And for the third night in a row, everyone is already asleep by the time Chan is ready for bed.</p><p>For the third night in a row, Chan lies awake freezing on the inside and trying desperately to warm himself with his tightly tucked blankets until he ends up falling asleep, cold and surprisingly lonely.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan wakes up later than he expects. He had chosen not to set an alarm since there’s no schedule today, but still; it’s weird to rouse naturally and open his eyes only to see that everybody else he shares the room with has already left.</p><p>Grumbling, he rolls over and grabs his phone to check the time.</p><p>12:52PM. Damn. Lunchtime, he supposes.</p><p>He stretches, grimacing when basically his whole spine cracks, but it relieves some tension all the same. Then he slumps forward, realizing he needs at least another five minutes for his brain to process fully that he’s awake and has to face the day.</p><p>Eventually, he groans and rubs his hands across his face before wrapping his blanket around his shoulders and standing up. Slowly, he shuffles out of the room to get something to eat. The floor feels weirdly cold against his bare feet.</p><p>After staring blankly at the refrigerator for nearly a minute he finally picks out some leftovers (a rare sight in a dorm of eight young men) to reheat for lunch. While he waits, he starts the kettle for some tea. He really feels the need to warm up today, maybe he’ll take a too-hot shower later.</p><p>The beeping of the microwave startles him out of staring at the wall; he hadn’t even realized he was. Shaking his head, he gets his food out and sets it on the table before going back to his tea.</p><p>Before he knows it, lunch is ready and he’s standing by the table, blinking down at it until he finally takes a seat.</p><p>Odd, he’s still really out of it. It’s like he never really woke up. Or he did, and something is making his brain all foggy and tingly. He shivers once before shaking his head again and digging into his food.</p><p>He eats absentmindedly, taking sips of tea every few bites and accidentally letting his mind wander. It ends up going to the most predictable place considering recent events; his ever-present, possibly growing, desire for a hug. From anybody, honestly.</p><p>(He’d probably accept the warm embrace of the 7/11 cashier down the street if it wasn’t Kind Of Weird and Typically Frowned Upon by the general populous to suddenly hug retail workers you don’t personally know.)</p><p>This leads him to think about how long it’s really been since he’s had a Proper Cuddle, which only makes him frown subconsciously at the fact that he’d been rejected so many times.</p><p>He’s also really confused about why it had hurt so much every time he was rejected. Out of everything else that’s been going on, this makes the least sense. He honestly loves hugs, but he values the importance of personal space and boundaries. So, why is not getting to cuddle anyone hitting him so hard and making him feel so bad?</p><p>Frowning deeper, he realizes that he’s finished his lunch and tea. Sighing, he sets his bowl down and ruffles his hair. Kinda greasy, but not too bad. He’s still about to take a shower, and with nobody else around the water it probably going to be amazingly toasty.</p><p>And a little lonely, but who’s counting?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan ends up showering for longer than he normally would, just because he can. The hot water and steam manage to warm him up nicely, and he only feels the chill deep in his core, not spread throughout his whole body anymore. It feels like he’s been given a taste of something that he didn’t realize he was missing. He puts on some lounge clothes with a smile, feeling more relaxed than he has in weeks.</p><p>However, after a while, it’s like the taste fades, leaves him wanting more, and his shoulders sag tiredly as me makes his way out of the bathroom. He’s tempted to go back to his room to take a nap, but it feels too lonely. He heads to Minho’s room instead, unsurprised to find it empty.</p><p>As he slides into Minho’s bed, grabbing his pillow and clinging to it tightly, he wonders to himself; what the fuck is up with his emotions? Why does he feel so up and down? Why does he kind of want to break down while his skin feels like it’s vibrating just beneath the surface?</p><p>He sighs to himself, crushing the pillow tighter in his grip and trying to breathe in Minho’s scent. He feels a little warmer, but… it’s not enough.</p><p>Frustration bubbles up and he groans as he lets himself fall over on his side.</p><p>He’s so tired even though he slept more than normal.</p><p>He’s so cold even though he’s bundled up and pulling the covers over himself.</p><p>He’s so lonely even though all of his boys are just a message away.</p><p>His distress is only rising as his thoughts continue, so he frowns, shaking his head as he sits up again. Is this somehow tied to his sudden want for hugs and his lack of physical affection in the past few weeks? He has no idea, but he’s tired of feeling this way.</p><p>He sighs and decides to do the worst best thing anyone can do when they’re stressed about being out of sorts and generally feeling bad; he looks it up on the internet.</p><p>After about twelve minutes of searching on his laptop (specifically the phrase “I need a hug or I’m going to lose my mind”), a couple different opinion thread pages, several q&amp;a blogs, and three health articles, he discovers a phrase that somehow magically encapsulates literally everything he’s feeling right now.</p><p>“Touch Starved”. Or at least some form of it.</p><p>(He was worried he didn’t qualify for a moment because most sources said it happens after a few months, but when he factored in lack of face-to-face communication and all the intense physical activities they have to do that leave them exhausted, he figures it probably built up faster than normal. That, and everyone’s different, right? Right.)</p><p>He puts his laptop down, chewing his lip thoughtfully. Truthfully, he’s still a little nervous about being seen as a bother. But this seems like it’s an actual, genuine Thing to be concerned about. And if the solution is so simple, then really the only conclusion to be made is…</p><p>He sighs again, grabbing for his phone from somewhere under the blankets. When he finally locates it, he opens the messaging app, clicking on his group chat with the boys.</p><p>He’s going to be proactive.</p><p>
  <strong>Bang Channie:</strong>
</p><p>          hey guys for medical reasons<br/>
          I need a hug</p><p>There’s nothing for a while, then he watches the counter on this message drop until only one person hasn’t read it yet.</p><p>He gets his response within a minute of his message being read.</p><p>
  <strong>Jisungie:</strong>
</p><p>          I mean fair but y tho</p><p>Chan sighs for probably the twentieth time today overall.</p><p>
  <strong>Bang Channie:</strong>
</p><p>          I was feeling bad so I did the<br/>
          thing you’re not supposed to<br/>
          do and I looked it up online</p><p>
  <strong>Seungpuppy: </strong>
</p><p>          what’s the verdict</p><p>Chan hesitates before shaking his head. No more waiting. He’s Mr. Proactive now.</p><p>
  <strong>Bang Channie: </strong>
</p><p>          the verdict is: I think I’m touch<br/>
          starved</p><p>          I mean it makes sense, I’ve been<br/>
          accidentally isolated for a while<br/>
          and you know I normally cuddle<br/>
          everyone all the time</p><p>          and now I feel cold and tingly and<br/>
          umm. alone… and like I really<br/>
          need a hug</p><p>          so yeah, ha ha umm. hugs</p><p>Chan waits for a response, holding his breath without realizing it. He watches the numbers count down again. Then,</p><p>
  <strong>Hyunnie:</strong>
</p><p>          oh channie : (</p><p>And a flood of messages promising hugs as soon as they get home follow, including one from Changbin that says he and Felix are almost home. Chan tries not to feel too startled that after waiting for so long he’s finally going to get cuddles, that he’s hopefully not going to feel so tired and lonely when he’s surrounded by his members anymore.</p><p>His anticipation rises, and to keep himself busy he sends thank yous and heart emojis into the group chat. One message catches his eye after a moment.</p><p>
  <strong>I.N-ie:</strong>
</p><p>          how long has is been since you got a full on hug? :’[</p><p>
  <strong>Bang Channie:</strong>
</p><p>          umm</p><p>          probably around a month</p><p>          give or take a few days</p><p>Then Chan startles as the door suddenly slams open and rattles slightly on its hinges. Felix marches into the room with Changbin still checking the group chat in tow. Felix makes eye contact with Chan, eyes narrowing slightly, before he gives a quiet, barely there warning.</p><p>“Get ready, Channie,” is all he says, and Chan doesn’t have time to ask what he means before Felix is sprinting and taking a flying leap into him. Chan yelps at suddenly having an armful of Felix, and the force of the tackle is enough to make him fall backward against the bed.</p><p>Soon, another force jumps on him, and Chan groans at having two whole boys on top of him at once.</p><p>It takes a while for Changbin and Felix to settle together, each laying on top of Chan as much as possible and hugging him to the best of their abilities. Chan squirms a little at first, huffing until he finds a comfortable spot and manages to wrap his arms around both the boys.</p><p>Realization soon hits that he’s getting the hugs he’s been wanting, <em>needing</em>, for so long. And boy, does it hit like a truck.</p><p>He doesn’t mean to cry, but before he can even begin to process the sudden surge of emotions in him someone is wiping tears off his cheeks. He looks up to see Seungmin has joined them and is sitting next to his head. His hands are warm and soft and Chan finds himself leaning into the touch. He glances back up again when he feels hands in his hair and finds Hyunjin gently running a hand through the curled strands he hadn’t bothered to straighten earlier.</p><p>They sit in silence for a while, Chan soaking up the warmth and affection he had been craving. Eventually, he feels the bed dip again and sees that Jeongin is laying next to him, pressed up against him and placing an arm around Felix to hold Chan’s hand. Then Seungmin does the same on the other side. It makes Chan smile softly.</p><p>Only a few minutes later finds Felix and Changbin shifting slightly, making way for Jisung who sprawls across his legs.</p><p>Chan is truly covered in boys at this point – and more importantly, their cuddles and love.</p><p>Eventually, someone’s phone pings the little jingle for their group chat. He feels wiggling on his legs and figures it must be Jisung, especially when his voice calls out to the room.</p><p>“Minho just finished with a lesson at the gym and has read the messages.”</p><p>Chan hums, which turns into soft laughter at Jisung’s next words.</p><p>“Oh, and he’s coming home now to join us. As fast as possible, if the amount of exclamations marks is anything to go by,” he says, amusement evident his voice.</p><p>They get quiet again soon, until Changbin poses a concerned question.</p><p>“How long did you know something was wrong?” he asks gently.</p><p>Chan hums again, thinking.</p><p>“Only just before I texted you all, really. But I’d been feeling like I really needed a hug for longer, which I think is when I started asking about it.”</p><p>Changbin hums as well, squeezing Chan a little tighter.</p><p>“Sorry, Channie,” Seungmin says suddenly. Chan’s eyes widen as he turns to look at him.</p><p>“What for? You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says.</p><p>Seungmin quirks his lips a little before continuing.</p><p>“I know, silly goose. Sorry that we didn’t notice, I mean. And sorry that you feel bad. Both things.”</p><p>Jisung nods.</p><p>“We noticed you wanted hugs more but we didn’t really ask you about it. Like, it wasn’t something we really knew to look for, but I know you asked more than once and we didn’t take you seriously.”</p><p>“But it’s like you said,” Chan insists, “You weren’t looking for it. And a lot of the time it was just bad timing. I could have been more persistent, but I didn’t want to seem like I was bothering anyone. I know that’s not how it is, now, but in the moment I kind of got caught up in it.”</p><p>“You’re not bothering us when you need affection, Channie,” Jeongin says quietly. He squeezes Chan’s hand once, twice. Chan doesn’t have a response, so Felix takes the opportunity to speak.</p><p>“How about this; we do know what to look for now, and it could honestly happen to any of us. It definitely wouldn’t be a bother to me if everyone put in the group chat that they need some cuddles. And there’s eight of us, someone is bound to be down to snuggle.”</p><p>“I agree,” Hyunjin declares, then curls up next to Chan’s head, still patting his head and running a hand through his hair intermittently. “We’re all here for each other, and that includes you, mister.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Chan says with a sigh. Then he squishes his boys tighter, making sure to smile at or attempt to head pat those he can’t hug right now. “When did my kids get so responsible?”</p><p>When there’s a resounding chorus of “We learned it from you, ding dong,” Chan groans, but it turns into a laugh. It sets off everyone else until they’ve become the giggliest cuddle puddle Chan’s ever been in.</p><p>Nobody flinches when the door springs open one more time a while later, revealing a Minho who looked like he had, in fact, sprinted all the way home with how windswept his hair looks. They all turn to look at him, and after a moment to catch his breath he wastes no time in setting all of his things down and jumping into the pile. After several seconds of wiggling, maneuvering, and whines that are promptly ignored, Minho somehow finds a way to cram himself between Felix and Changbin.</p><p>Chan laughs through the whole ordeal, highly amused by watching his boyfriend struggle to get closer to him until he’s laying directly on top of him and hugging him close. Chan just keeps on giggling when Minho shimmies and moves until he raises slightly, and suddenly Chan is staring up into Minho’s grinning face.</p><p>“Hey, cutie,” Minho says breathlessly.</p><p>“Hey, gorgeous,” Chan responds with another giggle. “Come here often?”</p><p>“I definitely will now. Got room for more love?” Minho says, trying to wink but failing when he starts laughing.</p><p>Chan pointedly ignores Changbin grumbling, “You couldn’t have asked before you squashed us all?” and smiles even wider.</p><p>“Anytime, baby,” he says, and Minho swoops in to cover his face with soft, gentle kisses.</p><p>The kids, predictably, start yelling; things like “This shit again?” (Jisung), “Right in front of my salad?” (Felix), and notably, “Dads, that’s gross.” (Jeongin). Chan and Minho are content to keep ignoring them, especially because they know they don’t really mind. It’s evident by the fact that nobody makes a move to scoot away or leave, and thinking about it makes Chan grin.</p><p>He loves Stray Kids, so, so much. And he knows they love him.</p><p>And as Minho keeps peppering his face with smooches and smiling down at him, as the kids joke around and cuddle closer still, he thinks that maybe that’s all he needs to know.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>me? ending all my chan-centric fics with cuddle puddles and smiles?? it's more likely than you think</p><p>also will we ever get the backstory for minchan? *side eye emoji**side eye emoji*,,,, probably when i finally finish my wips,,,, haha!</p><p>hummm lmk what u think if u want! if not, that's also fine! either way hope u have a nice day :D</p><p>here's a link for staying educated on events and ways to help if you can!<br/>https://dotherightthing.carrd.co/</p><p>stay safe, drink water, stay inside if you can, wear a mask if you need to go out! love u all!! &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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